Do you realized that every few years, we’d switch from one identity to another? From studying to joining the workforce. From junior to senior. From single to married. From daughter to mom. All these unique experiences have made us who we are.
There is this one life-changing identity that we want to talk about here in this episode, which is becoming a mother.
In this episode, we invited Jojo to talk about how she embraces her new identity of being a mom of two and how she prioritizes self-care in this season of life. Jojo also shared her thoughts on how to keep a good balance between motherhood and selfcare.
READ MORE TO JOJO’S JOURNEY OF GROWTH IN HER NEW IDENTITY
MEET THE GIRL!
I’m Jojo -
a girl with different roles in life
I’m a simple girl with different roles in life, like most of you here. I am a sister, a daughter, a wife, a mom and also a white-collar.
I’ve always wanted children and to build a family of my own. But I didn’t expect motherhood could be so challenging.
I love to dress up, make up and look pretty for myself. I’d always wear contact lenses whenever I go to work. But in the journey of motherhood with constant sleep deprivation and all the changes in my body, “look pretty” is like a mission impossible.
But it’s a natural power of a mother to make the impossible possible! I become exceptionally great with time management. I learn to deal with negative thoughts and ask for help. I start discovering different ways to style myself. Most importantly, I embrace my new identity as a mom of two and truly enjoy this new role in my life.
Ok.. What happened to my body?
When I had my first baby, I lost few kgs because of pregnancy nausea. I'm always quite skinny. Losing weight at that time made me look sick. When I had my second baby, I started to see stretch mark around my body. It was hard to accept.
I remembered looking into mirror and feeling very upset and disappointed. I'd ask my husband if I looked ugly. I wasn't confident. Eventually this thought has lesson throughout the journey.
Voice out. Don’t keep it to yourself.
The first thing that has helped me overcome self-doubt is to voice out when I feel upset. I’ll talk to my husband and my parents. Having a safe space to share my feelings and thoughts makes me feel less lonely.
Discover different styles
Stretchmarks and changes in boobs’ size are not things that we can control. I focus on things that I am in full control which is to discover different ways to style myself! If I don’t wear a crop top that shows my waist, I’d wear high waist jeans. It’s fun to continue to discover different styles and different sides of ourselves.
Appreciate my body
It’s fascinating that my body could do such an amazing work of creating a new life. My body brought two lives to the world. I breastfed my babies. And when I see my babies smile at me, there is nothing on earth that I’d trade it for. No matter how much my body has changed, I’d do it all over again.
“Time management is as important to MOM as it is to CEO”
I remember those days when I was single, I’d rest on the couch, watch movies, and chill after coming back home from work. And now, my clock literally works around my kids’ body clock. My morning routine evolves around their wake time.
I enjoy being a mom and I also love to look pretty for myself. I don’t wanna lose this. But I know I won’t have time once my babies wake up. So I’d wake up an hour earlier and do my makeup while they are sleeping. I become more efficient.
I want to make a point that as a mom, you still can make time for yourself if you have a strong will to truly prioritize yourself. It’s tiring but rewarding. And that we’ll not lose ourselves in the journey of motherhood. It may not be easy but it can be done.
Sorry, balance is a myth
Motherhood and Selfcare
Motherhood and Selfcare
Balance is something that I believe most people want to have in life. Balance work-life, balance love in a relationship… but certainly, at least to Jojo, we know balance in motherhood is not quite achievable.
“I mean, the kids are taking so much of my time.” -Jojo
But there are two things that Jojo practices for a better balancing in motherhood and self-care.
TIP NO 1
Ask for help
To be honest, having to take care of two kids and also work full time really takes up a lot of my energy. Sometimes, I don’t know if I still have the energy to breathe.
Therefore, it’s really important to ask for help even when we don’t feel like it. I’m blessed that my parents are able to help me take care of my babies during the daytime.
Look around and find someone to help even if it’s just for a few hours.
TIP NO 2
Just do it
Self-care is something that no one can do for us, except ourselves. So don’t negotiate with it and just do it. Your baby would love to see a happy mom.
I’d sometimes put on make-up, dress up, and just go to the carpark or backyard to take a selfie. A simple moment like this makes me feel pretty and confident. Even when it means I have to wake up at 6am to dress up, I’d just do it!
This is the borderline that I’ll never give up. It’s the effort to make sure I don’t negotiate with myself and that I don’t lose myself. I love my kids and I love myself too.
One Thing i'd Tell my younger self
I remembered that one time when I was sick and weak but I still had to take care of my baby. I felt helpless. I was thinking.. ‘this is tough.. how can I make it through this.’ And here I am. I made it through with two cute babies.
What I want to remind you who are reading this is.. more than often, we are the one that feed negative thoughts to our mind. We are the one that put limitation to our strength.
So how about switching that mindset for a bit and tell ourselves, “Trust yourself. You can do this.”
For real, you can do it.
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